My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
