I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
