I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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