Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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