ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
