I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
