So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
