I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
