Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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