I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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