i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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