12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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