Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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