I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
