Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
