All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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