People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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