Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
