butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
