I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
