Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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