ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
