i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Too much gin, very little bucket
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
