Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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