i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
