Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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