So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
