There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
