I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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