Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies

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(757): View more from Virginia

Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.

Fav 56 1744 7158
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.

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(214): View more from Texas

He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks

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(919): View more from North Carolina

OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO

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(989): View more from Michigan

I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.

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(909): View more from California

She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.

Fav 2 245 84
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(815): View more from Illinois

No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie

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