The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
