5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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