I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Randomize
