Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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