i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
