you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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