drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
And then he peed in my hair
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