Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
