Say something about gay babies.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
