Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He's a Shit stain on my heart
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
