Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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