Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
