He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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