Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
