Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
