never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
