I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
