I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
