I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
