just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
